well, i accept that i have been sent to this shitty place for a specific reason just lıke everyone. however, i really wonder why my makers can not see me. is it the only way, kneeling and saying a prayer, to make them hear you. anyway, i don't feel confused, but i feel myself lacking something to trust. i don't need to believe anything. i just want to know every little thing. i lack context.can you hear me, my dear maker? please reply me. i am waiting for you in my lıttle room next to the mash potatoes. why aren't you here when i most need you next to me? do i have to feel alone all the time? i really wonder....
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